Major Changes

Things are difficult.  The kids and I are now in Utah and R has gone back to Washington.  Dropping him off at the airport today was the hardest thing.  We drove down on Thursday and then spent a couple of days hanging out.  I wasn't ready for him to leave.  And it sucks.  

I'm trying to get things put together here at my mom's house so that we're comfortable.  But it's not like we moved into a big empty space.  Her stuff is everywhere.  There is a lot to do.  Tomorrow is a big air show and A is taking the 2 little kids to see it.  That way I can get a bunch of things done...or just take a long long nap.

I have neck surgery scheduled for July 18th.  I am really nervous.  I still keep going back and forth about whether or not I should do it.  I want the kids to have a fun summer and I won't be able to do much with them after I have that done.  It's such a big decision.

I hope that things will get easier but I'm not holding my breath.  

What Should We Do?

We are down to 6 days.  6 days and we are supposed to be out of our house.  We haven't done anything.  We haven't packed up one thing.  We have been looking for a place to move but so far haven't found anything.  If we can stay close enough the kids can keep going to their same school for the last month and next year.  I wish they were finishing with school this week like the kids in Utah.  That would make my life so much easier.  Well, at least I wouldn't have to wake up and make lunches every morning.  I'm so done with that.  

I thought that when R came home from his work trip it would help me feel so much better.  But it hasn't and I don't.  I can't focus on anything.  I'm great at making lists and looking around and seeing things that I need to do but when it comes down to actually accomplishing things I just can't do it.  I don't know if I'm waiting for some kind of miracle to happen or what.  Something to come in and save us so that we don't have to uproot our kids again.  The kids are strong and I know that they are stronger than I even realize.  I'm just sick of shit happening to us.  I want something good to happen.  Like a good promotion for R at work.  Like letting us stay in our house.  Like not constantly having to worry about what is going to hit us next.